The Person I am

The Person I am


So you think you know me 

From unreachable distances

I cast my persona 

All knowing and all encompassing 

So you think you know me

Till you bring down and up the depths and heights of your courageous self

Then a bigbang

This … this you thought of god like 

This the coward pest of a man

This is my biggest mistake 

So… I dont wonder anymore 

Not even with you 

I am that pest

A buzzing annoying mosquito 

People just wanna squish 

Come closer fomd the demons 

Or the demon you alwqys safeguraded yourself from

Like a fly in the web you are stuck 

The man I will never be

The person I am

Is the nightmare you can never wake up from

You are drawn to everything about me that is wrong

I dont have to do anything

This is the person I am

Everyones biggest mistake

 Monsters

Monsters

There is no one for your monsters

No one 

No one for making sure there arent any

They cant see

They wont care

They don’t

Who has time for mental fuckers

One look and they can tell

Your depth of insanity

It’s all good I tell you

Soon enough 

This despicable existence will be gone

You wont feel a thing

You wont 

You can’t

You don’t

Do whatever you are doing 

Just dont show me your monsters

LAST WORDS

LAST WORDS

​”You are never going to b unfucked”

You love and you get deceit

You spend time and you get title of useless

You pour yourself again and agian to fill you and you are told you are empty 

Not in words never… but here and there quiet unspoken gesture few triggers 

So you don’t catch you

You go to the depths of your demons to pull you out of them to be only called a monster

Then when you stop, everything stops for you

It’s not you it’s me 

You can hear your own echoes of laughters 

You are alone all alone with everyone 

And you have always been alone struggling with your beingness

You can use you as an alternative

Alternative … lol..to what

You love me as an alternative

You deserve alternative too

Love is a crime for which I’ve been paying dearly since I was born

LOVE IS THE WORST FOUR LETTER WORD

MY LAST WORDS

I am still alive why?

Your Way 

Your way is your way

My way should be your way 

You say by gestures 

You say with tones in not so 

Subtle words

Put up with me 

Let me be

The cost of which is 

I WONT BE ME

to

To let you be 

Is to Un do myself

So I did and I became you

And i am for granted

I am to be there just to watch 

And observe and not to say a word 

So i wont and i am not allowed to leave

So you say you allow 

But I am the prisoner 

In my own mind of your 

Chains

Unchain me I say

UNCHAIN ME

I cant be me 

If i only exist 

your way

My Worth 

My Worth

I am this way

Don’t ask me to change

Don’t tell me what to do

I live the way I want to

I’ll form the shape I choose to

Don’t tell me what to do

I command my feelings 

To say I love you whenever I want

Not you

Not anyone

No matter where my life takes me

Self loathing disgust perishing in my own regress

Don’t tell me 

I will live as I please

Or not

This is who I am 

so do not try to change me

And I wondered 

When did I ever say or do that

But then you can’t command me either

You can’t expect me to be otherwise 

What you aren’t either 

You can’t expect from me 

what you don’t others to expect from you

You can’t feel the pain 

When you want and thrash 

Others when you want and expect them 

to understand this is who you are 

What if I am you but 1000000 times more

Yes that’s my worth…

This is You

This is You

You are you

You think you are unchangeable 

You do as you are told by everyone who comes in your life 

Even for a minute

So amazing the power 

of letting  others do to you

To please yourself for just a 

Little more till the other figures out

This is you

They don’t care 

They don’t care

You don’t either

Just a little high

A hanky panky of mind

Just for few minutes

Then off you go 

Doing nothing

Is this why you called me

The cosmic shake you did

To reach out to me

Just to admit 

This is You 

No matter what you do

How soon you remember 

Is up to you

You are you

One minute your are yours 

The next in someone’s virtual arms

You are you

Why do you care

You are privileged 

Just today

What happens tomorrow

You don’t have a clue

I don’t either

This is You 

Dodging sideline silence and yells all forms of manipulation

This is You