Every day when I drive in my car, I see these people walking on the street carrying heavy loads. Some days I see others trying to cover themselves from heat, rain, cold or even snow in rough weathers. What do I want to do? I get this itch. I want to stop and help them. I want to stop even for the ones waiting for the bus to give them a ride. I really want to stop and ask them if I can give them ride to where they are going? Can I drop them; as many as I can who are carrying bags or running in the rain so they wont get wet? Can I help them put the grocery bags they are walking with so much difficulties and take them in my car where ever they are going to make their lives just a little easier that day?
But I can’t. I’ll tell you why I can’t. But before I tell you why I can’t, just to clarify, this is how I grew up as a child helping caring for people around me. I believe most of grew up that way right?
Then, with some courage and belief in kindness, I carried this helping others notion forward in my life, and once or twice I gave the rides to people and guess what, that turned out to be very scary experiences. One even threatened to kill me. Of, course I never gave ride to anyone ever after that experience, yet I always still think what if this poor person really needs it and that this person might be different than the experiences I had in the past? But I dare not anymore.
So the final time I did that ever was tried to help this person running in the rain and getting all wet. The drenched person turned back shouting at me, “Are you gay? WTF are you trying to do?” So I explained politely. He cracked up so hard and asked me one thing “Hey, tell me mister, will you be here tomorrow to save me from this rain or sun, or everyday? So now kindly leave me alone. I don’t need this shit today or ever.” Before I could even say anything he shook his head and left cursing and swearing. Well Another notion of helping a needy person died that day in me. But he made sense, I wouldn’t be there the next day or the next for him or anyone I tried to give ride to. That man made me think, was one wet day not even a temporary relief for him from that wet rain?
Surely, I even gave food to the homeless and I was asked by the restaurant managers to remove any kind of logos or work that places their names as potential risk for getting sued. They were not afraid of kindness but the LIABILITIES that surrounded the actions. Funny thing was, these homeless got so bold they frowned seeing me and started asking me if I can bring them ,”something else instead of the same things rice, potatoes, sautéed mushrooms, iced tea and deserts.” On this incident could only scratch my head in disbelief. They had no food to eat, yet they rather be hungry and turn the food away.
By then I had a little idea that..
Being so forward in Kindness Always got me in trouble. So I started thinking if I can’t help strangers anymore, I can help people I know. They would sure appreciate me right?
But boy did that turn out to be even worst experience than helping strangers
“What do you want in return?”
“You have such an inflated ego, man!”
“Stop being Jesus, Messiah!”
“I know one day you will take more than what you are giving.”
“I can’t return your favours!”
“You are crazy!”
“Who does these things now a days?”
“You are so weird.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Are you a politician?”
“Nothing is free in this world bro!”
“You are so needy!”
That wasn’t all. The remarks were met with smiles from me only. But the trouble was yet to come. This Aggression and good deed took me on another beautiful route.
I know some of you readers must have experienced this one as well.
Your value, your worth, you feel you are being taken for granted all the times. The people you are being kind to, now have this perception about you that you always have time. You are good for nothing who will always be in their way. Also, they can say whatever to you no matter how awkward or insulting, and most importantly you don’t ever need assistance or fellow respect from them. If you can help anyone at any time then you don’t have problems and you don’t sympathies or care even when you deserve it.
This effortless behaviour from me towards people I know has made me a Utility for them. Use and throw away utility. More so to such extent that If I want something from them they are never seen around and get excuses of all sorts. Even if I offer them compensation. They rather work for free for others then be paid by me.
So now I wonder where I stand. What should I do? Those questions makes me wonder and not smile and those behaviours makes me angry and not something to put up with. So I spoke to someone about this:
Then someone translated my behaviour for me to this one thing.
“GOOD DEEDS ARE A FORM OF MANIPULATION TO MAKE OTHERS DO WHAT YOU WANT NOT WHAT THEY REALLY WANT. THEREFORE, GOOD DEEDS NEVER GO UNPUNISHED. THERE IS NO SINCERITY IN MY ACTIONS AS THEY ARE COMPLETELY PURPOSELESS AND ONLY DONE FOR KINDNESS NOT FOR MONETARY OR OBLIGATORY COMPENSATION. PURPOSELESS GOOD DEEDS ARE SCARY FOR PEOPLE. ITS AN IMPOSITION ON OTHERS COMFORT. IT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON NOT GOOD PERSON”
My question is could this very translation of GOOD DEEDS & ACT OF KINDNESS really be true? Is “NO Good Deed Goes Unpunished” actually means Punishments for your good deeds? Was what our parents/ elders/faiths taught us not apply anymore regarding helping each other without obligating others?
Could this saying on the picture be true?
Pictures credit from Google Images