“No Good Deed Goes UNPUNISHED” Is it Really True?

Day of JudgementEvery day when I drive in my car, I see these people walking on the street carrying heavy loads. Some days I see others trying to cover themselves from heat, rain,  cold or even snow in rough weathers. What do I want to do? I get this itch. I want to stop and help them. I want to stop even for the ones waiting for the bus to give them a ride. I really want to stop and ask them if I can give them ride to where they are going? Can I drop them; as many as I can who are carrying bags or running in the rain so they wont get wet? Can I help them put the grocery bags they are walking with so much difficulties and take them in my car where ever they are going to make their lives just a little easier that day?

But I can’t. I’ll tell you why I can’t. But before I tell you why I can’t, just to clarify, this is how I grew up as a child helping caring for people around me. I believe most of grew up that way right?

no_good_deed_goes_unpunished_by_amorous_inc-d5jaw13

Then, with some courage and belief in kindness, I carried this helping others notion forward in my life, and once or twice I gave the rides to people and guess what, that turned out to be very scary experiences.  One even threatened to kill me. Of, course I never gave ride to anyone ever after that experience, yet I always still think what if this poor person really needs it and that this person might be different than the experiences I had in the past? But I dare not anymore.

So the final time I did that ever was tried to help this person running in the rain and getting all wet.   The drenched person turned back shouting at me, “Are you gay? WTF are you trying to do?” So I explained politely. He cracked up so hard and asked me one thing “Hey, tell me mister, will you be here tomorrow to save me from this rain or sun, or everyday? So now kindly leave me alone. I don’t need this shit today or ever.” Before I could even say anything he shook his head and left cursing and swearing. Well Another notion of helping a needy person died that day in me. But he made sense, I wouldn’t be there the next day or the next for him or anyone I tried to give ride to. That man made me think, was one wet day not even a temporary relief for him from that wet rain?

Surely, I even gave food to the homeless and I was asked by the restaurant managers to remove any kind of logos or work that places their names as potential risk for getting sued. They were not afraid of kindness but the LIABILITIES that surrounded the actions. Funny thing was, these homeless got so bold they frowned seeing me and started asking me if I can bring them ,”something else instead of the same things rice, potatoes, sautéed mushrooms, iced tea and deserts.” On this incident could only scratch my head in disbelief. They had no food to eat, yet they rather be hungry and turn the food away.

By then I had a little idea that..

gooddeeds

Being so forward in Kindness Always got me in trouble. So I started thinking if I can’t help strangers anymore, I can help people I know. They would sure appreciate me right?

But boy did that turn out to be even worst experience than helping strangers

“What do you want in return?”
“You have such an inflated ego, man!”
“Stop being Jesus, Messiah!”
“I know one day you will take more than what you are giving.”
“I can’t return your favours!”
“You are crazy!”
“Who does these things now a days?”
“You are so weird.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Are you a politician?”
“Nothing is free in this world bro!”
“You are so needy!”

That wasn’t all. The remarks were met with smiles from me only. But the trouble was yet to come. This Aggression and good deed took me on another beautiful route.

I know some of you readers must have experienced this one as well.
Your value, your worth, you feel you are being taken for granted all the times. The people you are being kind to, now have this perception about you that you always have time. You are good for nothing who will always be in their way. Also, they can say whatever to you no matter how awkward or insulting, and most importantly you don’t ever need assistance or fellow respect from them. If you can help anyone at any time then you don’t have problems and you don’t sympathies or care even when you deserve it.

This effortless behaviour from me towards people I know has made me a Utility for them. Use and throw away utility. More so to such extent that If I want something from them they are never seen around and get excuses of all sorts. Even if I offer them compensation. They rather work for free for others then be paid by me.

So now I wonder where I stand. What should I do? Those questions makes me wonder and not smile and those behaviours makes me angry and not something to put up with. So I spoke to someone about this:

Then someone translated my behaviour for me to this one thing.

“GOOD DEEDS ARE A FORM OF MANIPULATION TO MAKE OTHERS DO WHAT YOU WANT NOT WHAT THEY REALLY WANT. THEREFORE, GOOD DEEDS NEVER GO UNPUNISHED. THERE IS NO SINCERITY IN MY ACTIONS AS THEY ARE COMPLETELY PURPOSELESS AND ONLY DONE FOR KINDNESS NOT FOR MONETARY OR OBLIGATORY COMPENSATION. PURPOSELESS GOOD DEEDS ARE SCARY FOR PEOPLE. ITS AN IMPOSITION ON OTHERS COMFORT. IT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON NOT GOOD PERSON”

My question is could this very translation of GOOD DEEDS & ACT OF KINDNESS really be true? Is “NO Good Deed Goes Unpunished” actually means Punishments for your good deeds? Was what our parents/ elders/faiths taught us not apply anymore regarding helping each other without obligating others?


trying-to-help

Could this saying on the picture be true?

Pictures credit from Google Images

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15 thoughts on ““No Good Deed Goes UNPUNISHED” Is it Really True?

  1. Hello, funny enough I was looking for an organisation that grants good deeds and I came across your blog. You have a great heart, don’t forsake it. I am sure there is at least one person you’ve helped who needed it. Some people are too proud to admit they need help or appreciate it. All the best 🙂 PS probably you can change your approach. I am researching to start my own good deeds organisation.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Probably you can help with one thing, Ali. I know I’m a complete stranger and you’ve been burnt too many times. However, there are people who genuinely needs help so I’ll reach out to you if you are willing to listen. My email address is iriethecaterpillar@gmail.com. I promise this won’t freak you out and you won’t regret it.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. No good deed goes unpunished, that’s a bloody fact, do a good turn, you will get walked over, people will take full
      advantage of a potential prize mug, laugh at the stupidity of the person offering help, being a goody goody doesn’t pay, look after number 1 and its sink or swim for others. Would they care if I needed help, Nah, I seriously doubt it, it’s an I’m alright and stuff you world!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Have you seen the Good blog? You might like it.

    The only way around the problem you have mentioned, I have found, is to do things completely anonymously. People are embarrassed to accept help it seems, and especially when it is freely given. It took me three years of offering my sterling silver earrings, handmade, as FREE Christmas presents to anyone who needed/wanted something at Christmas time, at my local “Freecycle” before anyone took me up on my offer…But if I simply leave things on someone’s doorstep, where the person who needs them can take them, there is no shame and no humiliation involved. And I also don’t need to feel any guilt for making them feel awkward or embarrassed. I would rather do things anonymously in fact, if possible, always have preferred NOT to be thanked…It feels better that way. I’d rather it be between me and “my concept of god, if there is a god…” (Just thinking out loud.) You are a good person. Don’t give up on generosity and kindness. They make the world go round. If not you and I, then who? if not now, when?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello, you are right…no good deed goes unpunished. I have provided services and help for people. In all sorts of ways. It is how I was raised and who I am. Even one who wanted to keep her new dog but wanted a good home for her cat. I helped her get the cat a good forever home. Exactly as she wanted. Next thing I know she got a hold of my boss and accused me of forcing her to give up the cat. I got fired. Lesson learned. NEVER will I do anything extras for anyone. This has hurt me so much that I am counseling.
    And Pamela gives a good tip for if we get the “itch” to help someone. Do it anonymously. Thanks for making me feel that I am not alone. The world surely is nasty if not evil.

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  4. Hello Ali, I guess my writing wasn’t clear. I am sorry about that. What I meant is that I got counseling because of the hurt the “good” deed did me. I hope to learn and understand how evil-manipulative-competitive-claw-their-ways-over-anyone’s-back people think and function. I don’t want to have their mindset but I need to know how to outsmart (read avoid) them and be as strong as I can possibly be in order to do my work and come home happy. Basically, all I want is to be happy in my work and come home satisfied. Thank you for your reply. It was very nice to read.

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    1. Hi Elizabeth, thanks for the reply. I did understand that you are in counseling from your first comment. Thanks for clarifying again. It definitely shows how caring you are. Keep me posted how your counseling is helping you or not. Should you need my life coaching I ‘ll be glad to connect :).

      Like

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