These Voices

These Voices!
They are not just in my head
No sir, they are not!

Just because you can’t channel the broadcast
On the frequencies you can receive
does not mean I can’t hear them.

You must have your own special gifts
that surely I don’t have
Like the  gift of disbelief in things that can exist.
Or, or the power of imagination to lie blatantly and profusely
Without shame
No I did not call you a non-believer
Nor did I call you, a liar

If I were to call you anything I would only call you
An un appreciating bastard. Yes I would!

Yes I would! For before denying me
And ridiculing my sanity
You showed me yours

And then, I
Opened my eyes
Only to find Talking and replying
to myself

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The Cloud

Is there any thirsty field
Or an acre
May be just a dry lot
That needs to quench it’s thirst
And not let me drift away
Unnoticed, unseen

I will stop and rain down on you
Pour down hard
Like cats and dogs

And no one cared
The Cloud yelled and screamed in vain
Shouted and aggressively thundered on
Made itself inconvenient
Unable to resist its own potential
Wishing not to just disintegrate
No thirsty horse man, or a bedouin caravan
Uselessly pouring hard

Made everything wet and puddled
Nodding heads saying “What a mess”

The cloud vanishes
In futile…

Hi# 43: ENABLING ACTIONS – Milestone 4 – Journey

I begin everything with my  Truest Intentionsi

Hi# 43

ENABLING ACTIONS

Milestone 4

Journey

Do I think?

Then do I think my thoughts are merely thoughts?
and
Do you think the same as well?

Then I thought again.
I don’t know if you did or not, but Ithought again.

I realised, there was immense amount of work
that was done by my brain
to generate any thought
in my head.

Chemicals were reacting
Cells were producing and dying
Hormones, adrenaline
serotonin and what not
was being produced.
Then injected and
transferred to my neurons
for me to be able to think and realize that
“It’s merely a thought?”

So, then, can I or you still say “it’s a mere thought?”
I believe we can’t.

Do you recall, when I felt a pang in my heart
and it made my body move,
created apparent gestures in my body
that you and others saw?
Some reacted noticeably and others didn’t.
Your eyes twitched,
Your lips spread, your fists clasped and ,
Your teeth clenched
Just because you thought, I thought something
This is the power of Thinking.
These are what I understood as ENABLING ACTIONS
Am I making any sense when you read this?
My thoughts that are most powerful
That make me move, and do things that
made others react

I control my thoughts
and I control my ACTIONS
Thereby Ruling My UNIVERSE.
That ENABLES me,
to set up my Journey,
To Trust myself so I can Trust others,
To realize my own Uniqueness and not compare
To Choose a right Team of people to make me successful
As a friend, as a family man, as a partner
My thoughts ENABLE me.
The microscopic unseen ACTIONS that took place
in my head made me move mountains
in this world among all of you

Thus I decided to master my thinking.
Control it to produce favourable results
Channelled my thoughts to invite right people in my Universe
Focus in favourable directions
and
Thus I created my own path to my Journey
Enabling ACTIONS made my UNIQUENESS as my REVEALER of my Own Universe
So then how did I manage my Universe with other people’s world?

Hi# 42: DISABLING ACTIONS – Milestone 4 – Journey

I begin everything with my  Truest Intentions

i

Hi# 42:

DISABLING ACTIONS

Milestone 4

Journey

Why am I here?
I asked myself?
My Choices,
My Universe,
My Trust,
My Uniqueness,
Disappeared

Why am I here?
I asked again.
I saw my answer
In myself.
Relationships gone,
Frustrations heightened,
despair immense,
Depression,
Uncontrollable

Does not matter where I was before.
Now?
Tell me O Lord of My Universe,
Where Am I now?
Reminders of denials
“I had no choice.”
Reminders of Denials
“Why couldn’t he/she do this?
I would have been there instead of where I am at now.”
Giving my Lordship completely to my guests of My Universe,
Because I didn’t have any choice?

Truly I knew within me
What I was DOING.
I was disabling myself
I knew  it in my heart
I knew it every hour
What I DID.
This DOING of myself
I call it now
DISABLING ACTIONS
It is only I
Who did this to ME.

Yes, Of course
I was so happy inviting your world
And Yours and Yours
and Yours too, and so many others like You.
Giving each one the authority
To Control My Universe.

Knowingly, I agree only when I am alone
That Only I could have taken My Universe
To The extent I wanted to.

Now, I can blame
Easily others
For The Choices
I made
For the Actions I took

That Disabled me
But only in dark deep corners of my heart and mind

Where even my soul is not allowed to get me out from

I don’t want to acknowledge My Lordship of My Universe
I still want to blame You
This is what YOU have made me
The Action of NOT CHOOSING is bogus
The DISABLING ACTION is not My Fault
I did what I had to do. DENY

But listen “Don’t tell me all this
I have my own Universe to run and worlds to invite”
With this he left. Him too, and her too.
They all left.
I was all alone thinking all this.

I forgot this Journey was mine
I forgot this path is my choice
They were simply there on my invitation.
They are still there because I never let them go
Wanting them to run My Universe
When They all have their own universes to look after

Today, I acknowledge these are my Disabling Actions
When I shattered the Mirror
Today, I know not choosing was my choice
What changed? You may ask.
Nothing, I just got tired of myself
I got tired of my own disabling actions

Now, I am acting to implement
Eradicate my DISABLING ACTIONS
Those actions that I chose not to choose
Because Tinker Bell’s magical wand
That other carry will run My Universe

I was disappointed
And ultimately had to
Stop my Disabling Action

Each one of my invitee brought
Amazing grace.
Each one I violated and manipulated to run my universe
By insisting, imposing, smooching, overpowering,
yelling, screaming, giving silent treatments, avoiding, neglecting, getting angry,
being obnoxious, Just so they can run MY Universe as me.

Yes I used all these methods of DISABLING ACTIONS
To franchise my own thirst of
NOT Ruling my Own Universe
Thinking they will heal me,
They will make me better
They will love me
They will protect me

But I always knew deep down
And on the surface
Whose Universe it is
I just made sure I kept it Disabled

Hi# 41: ACTIONS – Milestone 4 – Journey

I begin everything with my  Truest Intentions

i

Hi# 41

 Journey

Milestone 4

ACTIONS

So I was depressed and angry and overwhelmed
and I was lost
Then I saw myself in the mirror
Shattered it and realized I am the one that is You
In my own Journey.
No one else, but me.
The more I got up and did
The more “I” was revealed to me.
The more I did the more my Journey got challenging
But I kept acting and implementing
While I was outraged I didn’t have focus on my rage
I was doing things
I was in action

Then the more I did things the more I realized
I must keep doing it

The rage, depression all disappeared,
The more I implemented
The quieter I got,
Able to listen to my inner self
The easier the Journey became
The more Trust I was able to put in myself
The more I got done
Farther I travelled
So I looked back and saw what I did wrong?
It was not what I did wrong
It was what I never did

Thus began my Fourth Milestone ACTIONS
Counting on my own Actions
To what I want to become
To understand myself
I must Act!
I must Do!
With all my whining
complaining, tantrums and what not,

I must have my own ACTIONS
Question is,

What should my actions be?

Hi# 40: The Obvious #6 – Milestone 3 – Journey-You

I begin everything with my  Truest Intentions

 

iHi# 40: The Obvious #6

Milestone 3

Journey

You

What Journey reveals undoubtedly,
Can’t I deny it?
Can’t I forget my past, my present?
Can’t I never worry about the future?
Am I not able?

I know what is revealed,
But do I really want to know?
I want to reflect in my conversations,
That I know
But can I express it?
Without hurting, without getting hurt?

When was it my choice to be born?
When did I choose my childhood?
What if I was a female in this world?

Or as an animal helpless in man’s oppressive world?

How long of oppression will I have to face to be free?
That ultimately makes me ask only one question.
What is all this about?
Where is all this coming from?

We say it is all about choice.
Well can anyone tell me when
Did I choose to be born?
I am yelling at all of you
Who claimed CHOICES make us
Well how?

And anger and despair
Overwhelms me
So can I deny?
Can I deny everything?
Can I refuse that which surrounds me?
Can I fight everything and cast myself away from everyone?
Tirelessly, vehemently, tormentingly,
Which way is right?
Which Choice is right?
Yours, theirs, the heroes of the pasts?
The prophets and the gods and the angels?
Whose?
Answer me?
Are you listening?

The mirror broke,
Shattering my existence,
It is You the mirror said, while shattering
Can you deny You?
The so OBVIOUS

The exhaustion of my Journey
Enveloped me,
It is me that mirror was calling
YOU,
The so apparent,
So in front of me.

And with this revelation
Everything was OBVIOUS
I am the choice,
I am the You,
That I can never deny

Milestone 3: The Obvious realizes
Begins the Milestone 4: Actions of the Journey
My Journey,
Journey of I

The Only OBVIOUS
The Only OBVIOUS