She said, “I am Sinful”


While planting garlic in my back yard this Monday, I had an unexpected blessed visitor. I am all covered in wet mud, stinking of fertilizer, but she does not care. So sweet of her. So I take a break made some hot Pakistani tea with milk and sugar for her. Some gluten free chocolate cake that I made the night before.  And she started telling me about her self that she has converted to christianity from a sect of Muslims and found Jesus as her saviour.

She said “I am sinful. If I don’t believe in Jesus because not believing in him is a sure damnation for me and I will become sinful.”

I  told her that I respect her beliefs. I have lived in Southern states of the USA and have actually participated in denominational and non denominational Christians practices. And in Pakistan I studied in a catholic school. I haven’t just read the several bibles but also practiced with them to have a better understanding of human faith and the behaviours that go with it.

For which she replied “Catholics are not Christians. In India all I knew was catholics and that Religion (not a christian sect) does not appeal to me at all. I believe int his orthodox christian way of finding Jesus…”
She was saying more but then I politely assertively interrupted her and asked her simple questions…

Me: “Why do you have to disrespect, in comparison, catholic faith for you to be a better believer in Jesus or as a matter of fact your birth religion?”

Her: “Because I believe that its the only way for salvation. What do you                    think?”

Me:  “Without disrespecting any religion. Without denying anyones belief or bashing them. Without blasphemy. I believe that I am not sinful. Accepting that I am sinful is setting myself up to do bad things and passing the blame on Not believing in an Entity. I believe I have Godly Powers. I believe that God has made me in God’s image just like everything and everyone. Since God is perfect, I believe everything that happens to me is by virtue of that belief. I stay humble to the plans and God’s intentions without questioning God. As a human being I also believe that should one day science happen to prove that GOD does not exist I wouldn’t feel betrayed or left out in anyway. I wouldn’t go bankrupt in my belief. I own my own accountabilities and actions and efforts of doing or not doing things. I love not because I want to be loved back but because this is what my belief is. However to be recognized os good for my soul It’s hard to be in this belief at all times. Just like it is hard to have a good night sleep and wake up fresh everyday. But then we take actions to keep belief as much constant as possible.”

Her: “I can’t believe that. Also, Ali I am so loud I think your neighbours would think that I am preaching at you.”

I smiled knowing how good my neighbours are and how truly blessed I am to have these neighbours.

Me: “then don’t. ” Politely, I reasserted. Then asked her softly  “Also, can you prove to me that you are here standing in my backyard saying all this? Can you convince me that you exist while I deny you on your face?” I explained Descartes to her  and told her the story of Cogito Ergo Sum.

Her silence and confusion and surrender was apparent. She can’t convince me that she does existed nor she can refute that she exists. I paraphrased Descartes without challenging her that Descartes said that the day anyone will truly believe in what they have just discussed regarding Jesus, would be the day you will never advertise Jesus in this way. In order to master ones faith one must believe in the existence of God as one believes in her own existence. I also emphasized that for me to believe in my belief I can’t compare other beliefs. Its my own personal belief and so is theirs. I can’t tell anyone who is right or wrong because I am only responsible for my rights and wrongs. Pointing out or bashing who is doing what is false pride. I am no judge of anyone even if I try I wouldn’t know if your belief is better or more than mine.

After she left I went back to my garlic planting. Hopefully next year I’ll have a whole years supply of fresh home grown garlic.


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