I Wasn’t Alone

I Wasn’t Alone

I summoned myself
To obey my instincts
To be closest to me

I allowed myself to walk through darkness
With autistic focus
To be humble and free

In this darkness I felt alone
While people passed me by
I couldn’t realize, I couldn’t see

I took sometimes to get use to darkness
And before I could appreciate these like minded souls
I was blinded by the light of my destination again

In darkness I felt alone,
In light I was so sure of melancholy
My mind never comprehended

I wasn’t alone…
I just never realized,
Either way, I just couldn’t see…

Did you pass me by?
Did you see me?

So focused in achieving
I could only see me!

Today

Today

Today I woke up- A monster
Buzzing ears
Depression tearing my soul in pieces – microns
I can feel the tiny worms eating my brain inside my head – Unstoppable!
Today, I hate you and myself – world!
Tensed tight face
Queasy existence wavering like a canoe up down left right
I can feel the bitterness of myself in my own mouth

Today, getting out of this mode is a challenge
Ending is just a plan away
There is no warmth that surrounds me she is warming someone else Happy
I can bring the earth down with vibrations of my screams of loathing and sufferings

Today, I just pray that this day, this feeling passes
Never to come back again
But I know it will come sooner to outrage me
I can choose to say “I am choosing to feel this” repeatedly

Today, all the worldly work is going to suffer

Today, who else is lonely like me?

Come to Terms

Come to terms
Or keep living
The nightmares of oppressions
A state that you are used to
So come to terms

Yes you look healthy
Beautiful and sensible
Till you open your mouth
Repulsive enough to oppress
Your ownself
You cant escape
You don’t want to

Yes you are sharp
For a minute or so
Then all is hazy
Then you fearfully
Try to quiet down
Your Monsters

Demons won’t escape you anymore
Run from everything
But from yourself

So come to terms
There is no escape for you
You died in the womb
Of your tobacco chewing mother
You just couldn’t escape the flesh

You tasted the wrath of being concieved
So come to terms
Horrible death awaits you
You can fight all you want
Till the grave engulf your
Dead body