The End

the compulsion for this blog is over 

I have outgrown my Insanity 

beyond the horizons of cosmos

thanks for follows likes and your expressions 

it’s the end of the journey 

that I was compelled to travel

now the cosmos has shown 

the true path to the person 

no more will I be the journeyman

it was fun while it lasted 

The End

the new beginning mist arrive soon

the compulsion must ignite for another traveller

so that the traveller can shed all insecurities 

lying within on me

O traveller you would end up worshiping my travelling grounds 

only to find out that I was nothing 

But an abberration of yoir own thoughts 

reflecting encouraging empowering you

To reach yoir the destination 

so when you realize do not hate yourself 

look where yourself at now clear and well defined with experience of lifetime 

Proudly you loved and reached the intense heights of Self 

The End is with me 

not with the destination you have always wishes for it where you are now

Such A Pisser for Lover 

You take one step forward and many steps back

you tell me you  don’t believe in relationships 

you say there’s worship more than love 

And you keep denying the offerings I have for you

so I who was madly in love with you 

mistook your chicken heartedness and cowrdice for whatever your insecurities are

And thought I just change myself to fit your needs

And no matter what I did you had disapproval hints that didn’t translate into anything

kept me confused

then I mustered up my courage observed and found out what a wuss you truly are

What a pisser for lover you turned out to be 

uncountable lovers you had my ass!

try loving yourself for once first 

What I am

Understand what you are

Realize what you have done 

just because you can’t be “unfucked”

does not give the right to coerce people

manipulate them and mess with their lives

I am standing up for myself 

so here i am giving you straight dope

since you don’t care how you violate others

I won’t care either

that is what I have become 

that’s what I am

I am so hurt and lonely 

But I will survive 

my ego is stronger than reasons

my culture and my traditions better than

the love everlasting

yes I can keep fooling myself into 

believing my false gods and that I don’t believe in anything

But deep down in my heart I know

even not believing is a belief

But I will never admit 

cos that is what I have become

that is

What I am

When I Tell You To Fuck Off

“So yeah 

When I tell you to fuck off

It’s the disappointment and rage

of me thinking, you above all played me

I heard my brother calling me stupid 

When I told him about us 

And naive and I felt so stupid when

I realized how dumb I can be

What is it that you want from me

You treated me like piece of shit 

a bitch and 

What have you really done for me

And I am outraged because you

Will turn all my words against me

And use them against me

all I wanted was a ring on my finger

i want someone to hold me in their arms

But you treat people like shit

And that’s how you have treated me

you should know

I can’t do this anymore

I can’t allow you to treat me this way

whenever you want to talk to me you do

whenever you don’t you just leave

this is not how you treat people 

And you can’t tell me that you don’t know

you should know

I can’t allow you to treat me like this

And it’s not about you 

What I am saying about You 

Don’t make it about you because it’s not 

You are a horrible person 

all my life I protected myself  from this kind of hurt

And I gave you 100% of me

What did I get except hurt.

you don’t deserve to know anything 

you left me at these times.

all I do is cry everyday and all I want to be is 

happy be peaceful for five minutes and I can’t even get that”

listening to all this I wonder why would anyone want to be with such a  despicible person who treat people in such manner and

million more reasons and rebuttles and thoughts came to my mind regarding this whole scenario. One was very clear…

Access Denied

I am supposed to 

exist

live

Care

Love 

Socialize

Build

Relationships

My own world

Be with someone

Be someone

Multiply

Build more

Have more

Want more

Give more

Take more

Need more

And my mind 

Sees no meaning

In all these things

And that part of my brain

Wherever it is located 

Has no activity or presence 

It’s almost like looking through the glass window of what I need and want and live in the real world 

But then that part has a sign on my brain 

Access Denied