My Worth 

My Worth

I am this way

Don’t ask me to change

Don’t tell me what to do

I live the way I want to

I’ll form the shape I choose to

Don’t tell me what to do

I command my feelings 

To say I love you whenever I want

Not you

Not anyone

No matter where my life takes me

Self loathing disgust perishing in my own regress

Don’t tell me 

I will live as I please

Or not

This is who I am 

so do not try to change me

And I wondered 

When did I ever say or do that

But then you can’t command me either

You can’t expect me to be otherwise 

What you aren’t either 

You can’t expect from me 

what you don’t others to expect from you

You can’t feel the pain 

When you want and thrash 

Others when you want and expect them 

to understand this is who you are 

What if I am you but 1000000 times more

Yes that’s my worth…

This is You

This is You

You are you

You think you are unchangeable 

You do as you are told by everyone who comes in your life 

Even for a minute

So amazing the power 

of letting  others do to you

To please yourself for just a 

Little more till the other figures out

This is you

They don’t care 

They don’t care

You don’t either

Just a little high

A hanky panky of mind

Just for few minutes

Then off you go 

Doing nothing

Is this why you called me

The cosmic shake you did

To reach out to me

Just to admit 

This is You 

No matter what you do

How soon you remember 

Is up to you

You are you

One minute your are yours 

The next in someone’s virtual arms

You are you

Why do you care

You are privileged 

Just today

What happens tomorrow

You don’t have a clue

I don’t either

This is You 

Dodging sideline silence and yells all forms of manipulation

This is You

Rip

Rip

Shred it, shed it, toss is out
The outraging mind messing my nails
Do it, dig them in the skin
Or poke them in your eyes
Just do it already
The vibrating signals in the head keeps asking
But why, But why
Sanity trying to win over me?
What would a sane person know about sanity?
He’s never been insane.
Ask me what sanity is
No I wouldn’t give anything
to get it back.
Hell I worked so hard to get rid of it
Or did I?
Well there are these bulges of moments
When I try to be normal
Ahhahahaha
Ahahhaahhah
I am laughing so loudly in my head
I don’t want people to know I don’t take any pill for keeping my sanity like they do,
They might not like it
So I laugh in my head
Normal is the new insanity if you are not on meds, yo!

Like Me

Like Me

Like me, like me, like me
Look into my eyes, can’t you see?
Feel my vibes, feel the notes and the keys
They all say to like me, like me, like me

And then you repel,
Repel from the honesty
If he gives me all
What will he want when will he call
To take back all, even what I got
So then you repel
But please like me like me like me

Now I look into your eyes
The feeling unknown I see
The warmth is gone
The push is coming
With earth quaking forces
Your words resonating
Cracking the bridging tunnel of hope
We both had created

You feared my selflessness
I your refusal
You questioned your honesty
I my own rejecting you

We both rejecting
You see me desparate
I see only excitement
You see needy me
I saw me happy and carefree

Like me like me like me
Harmless I am
And you stay away
Thinking
Why won;t you like me

You shook your head
Thinking, no matter what you do
I’ll never feel the likeness nor love
In your eyes

 

 

 

Will You Even Like Me ?

You love me
Now
You love my heart
My Mind and Soul
You worship my grounds I walk
And Bow

And here is this unknown
Too good to be true
Disdain
Waiting for faults in me
When is my cover blown

Too Good to be true
I am, I am
All to love you
Fantasies do come true
To keep realities in blue

The beast and the beauty whole
You demand more
More of me all of me
My truth to see me fall
Hating heart wretched soul

Are your ready?
To know it all?
My reality and lives
Uncouth, sick and rowdy
Untrustworthy and shady

My frustrations and losses
These insecure reasons